Knoxville: Why People Snap

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A man with a shotgun fired into the Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist church in Knoxville, killing two people and injuring several others, citing hatred for the "liberal movement" as his main motivation. That's the news I heard when I arrived back in Atlanta from my three week long trip in Thailand yesterday.

I only recently started this blog, but as a rule I generally try to leave my family out of it (out of respect for their privacy). However, after hearing about the tragedy up in Knoxville, I feel the need to violate that rule. Some of you that know me personally may think that I am referring to the murder of my brother that occurred in 2004. I am not. Although Eric's kidnapping and eventual death by the hand of a man with a gun does sadly come to mind, the memory that is dominating my thoughts rests more with my father.

When I was small child, I remember seeing and hearing my father mentally snap. My father is a Vietnam Veteran who has struggled for decades with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and drug and alcohol abuse. He currently lives of disability due to this condition. Sometime in the mid to late 1980s I remember hearing him get into an early morning argument on the phone with his friend. I could not have been more than eight or nine then, so details of the argument are not entirely clear, but I remember it involving the friend insulting my mother.

Whatever was said, my father responded by grabbing his rifle, driving to, and shooting up his friend's house in the prone firing position just like the Navy taught him. He fired shot after shot into the house and only stopped when he ran out of bullets. He then left the scene to buy more ammunition. When he returned someone had called the police and my father went peacefully with them. That was a grace in and of itself as my father has a history of resisting arrest. I have one memory of it taking five police officers to subdue him once while he was under the influence.

Although two people were in the house at the time, thankfully, no one was hurt. My father now claims to have thought the house empty at the time, and I'll never know if he meant too kill or just terrorize his friends. He ended up getting nine years weapons probation, which was later extended on through present day due to other violations of the law, which could fill a book.

I know my father's actions and level of illness pale in comparison to what that man did in the Knoxville Church, but having lived with a very sick person and seen what they're capable of when things start to fall apart, I think I can understand at least in part why Jim Adkisson did what he did.

Whatever his motives and motivations for his act, I believe it stemmed from an illness that led him to believe the present circumstances of his life "wasn't his fault," but others. My father was the type of man who never took responsibility for his own actions; everything that ever happened in his life was someone else's fault. Only now after years of medical treatment and counseling has my father started to realize that a good portion of the blame he attributed to others really lied within himself and that of his illness.

I'm not trying to defend the actions of Jim Adkisson, I'm only trying to understand them. This man needs / needed help. I've heard it said on other blogs that some blame the Conservative shock jocks and others for steering Adkisson's rage towards "liberals." Oh, I'm sure that played a part, but only in identifying something for him to latch on to. Honestly, I believe that a man this sick without help would have eventually vent his pain and rage on a target regardless of ideology or religion. There is always an "other" or those that are markly different for oneself; it's how you deal with that fact that marks how sick, scared, or mature you really are.


That should be our mission, teaching people to deal with others maturely not just so people can "get along," but so we can see who really needs help.

*** Please make a donation to the Knoxville Relief Fund ***